A Positive thought...

This is a poem Brad wrote today as a way to deal with his grief. He was at the library looking out the window at the golf course and it was surrounded in caution tape and it made him think of my mom. Although there was no actual crime and no caution tape, he said that he felt it was a crime that she went so suddenly. He said he felt like she was robbed of her life. The final thought of the poem keeps his mind positive and hopeful for what's after this life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did-it made me cry because it is so true!



Floating yellow strands, with cold, black letters
Line the doorway of your dark, empty place.
“Not for the weak of heart,” the tape mutters,
As it flutters, like a slap in the face.
But the words don’t hurt anymore, because
The sun is still shining from heaven’s lap--
To remind how He has washed all your flaws,
How anyone can dodge the devil’s trap.
Burn on us now, and show us, the path:
That the bleakness of The Fall was usurped
By the power and glory of His death.
Hand in hand, go from the devil decerpt,
And let the tears be happy memories
Of a life, once in bondage, that is free.

Unimaginable

I still truly cannot believe that my Mom is gone. I keep thinking "I should call her and ask her about this picture" or "Why I am taking all her stuff she's not going to have anything left". I keep saying to myself that it's not really happening but then I get a flash of the image of her when I found her and I realize that it is very real. I am sort of numb today, haven't cried much like the other days-it's almost like I have no more tears left. My Husband and his 2 friends are bringing her furniture to my Garage and my Dad is cleaning her apartment. I look into my garage and her entire life is stuffed haphazardly into it. Things are piled on top of things and I keep walking in there and just staring at the things that filled her apartment, the things that accumulated form her 61 years of life. She lived in her apartment for 20 years-I lived there for 8. She has things that were mine, things that I rolled my eyes at when I found out she still had them and told her she was goofy for keeping them-they are now things I wouldn't give up for anything in the world. I checked her e-mail and her cell messages nothing interesting. However when I checked her outgoing calls she had called Urgent Care two days before she died and talked for 1 min 18 secs. I don't know what was said but it makes me sad to think she was bad enough to look into it 2 days before her death but ignored what her body was telling her. I miss her terribly and I am still wondering if it's true...I hope not.

I was just about to push publish when I thought "oh I should call my Mom and tell her I posted." It made her day when I would blog, she checked it everyday and unfortunately I barely blogged, I wish I would have been better. It brought her such joy.

Update

Hey Everyone-

This is Kelly, Kristen asked me to write a quick update for all of you with regards to her mom.

The Coroner called and it looks like nothing obvious led to her passing. They are doing a toxology screen to make sure there weren't any lethal amounts of anything in her system, which they said is very unlikely-they just have to check. Most likely she passed away from an infection and combined with everything, her body just shut down.

Brad and Kristen are going through her apartment now and making decisions and arrangements. Please continue to pray for their family!

My Mom passed away yesterday

It was completely unexpected and I am stunned that this has happened. She was sick a couple days before thanksgiving with a fever and cough and her fingers and toes were getting numb. I told her she needed to go to the doctor but she said she'd be fine. Then yesterday she called at 11:15 and sounded terrible and could barely talk and was wheezing she said she would go to the emergency room but wanted to wait a couple hours so she could rest. She said she would call me at 3:30. After me freaking out and getting upset she asked me to just please wait -she wanted to be able to walk into the ER. She didn't call me at 330 so I started calling her her phone was off . I had her neighbor go over and bang on the door and nothing. He got a key from the manager of the apartments and we went in together at 600 and she was very much gone. The EMT said she had been gone since about 12:30. We are fairly certain it was pneumonia but they are doing an autopsy to confirm.

Happy Birthday!!!!

My baby boys turned three today. It is sad for me but they are really getting so independent and it is exciting. We started off the morning with donuts for breakfast. Then we got the two big kids off to school (more on the princess going to school later) then we went to the park after taking the munchkin to the doctor. We finished up the night with the kids watching Wall-E with Daddy who isn't feeling very well. It was a great day. The kids all opened a present after breakfast. Aunt Jody (not blood related but the closest person the kids will have to an Aunt because Brad and I are only children) sent each kid a present because three birthdays are within a week and then she doesn't want to leave the Prince out so they all get one. It turned out to be a really great day. The bulldozer was amazingly grown up today. He was a helper all day and was just very proud of himself and how responsible he was being (we were too!!)

too tired to sit up and open the present

really excited about the card-it has a lobster!!!

Too cute for words!

Handsome...

and some more handsome. Three handsome guys!

The boy continues to amaze us

So we were just about to brush the kids teeth and I look over at the munchkin and he looks like he is going to stand up in the middle of the floor. This is no new thing, he attempts to do it often but never does. Well, tonight he did it. We were all so excited!!!! The first video he really did stand up in the middle of the floor but I didn't record that the second video you get to see the whole amazing feat. Oh his physical therapist is going to be so proud!

Here is a much better video...

I took this one the day after he first walked and he has been continuing to walk just little bits like this. We do have to set him up for it for the most part though. It is so exciting!! You might want to turn the volume down on your computer, apparently I was very excited (and a bit loud).

Look who's walking!!!!!!!!!

Brad came home a bit early today from work and when he walked in the door he was greeted by the munchkin. Well the munchkin went up to him and used Daddy's leg to stand up. Then he proceeded to take 3 unassisted steps. Then we sat down and had him walk to us. He was so proud of himself and the Bulldozer at first wanted to help him walk (he came over to hold his hand-really cute!!) but we said that he was doing it himself, and then he kissed him. It was an exciting day at our house. The video isn't that fantastic because I am trying to catch him and record him at the same time but the third time he walks he takes about 4 steps. It's more than he has ever done and we are amazed at how well he is doing!! Lately he has been cruising around furniture but he never tries to balance on his own.

I need to catch up

I have so much to blog about and I now have a friend holding me to at least 3 posts per week, so hopefully I can do it. Where shall I start? How about our Anniversary trip.... We had an absolutely amazing time!! It began on Saturday night when we went to see the Taming of the Shrew with Brad's Shakespeare class. Yes, it is strange to begin your anniversary trip with your spouses English class but we both had an amazing time watching the performance. Then we went out for a drink with the class and then headed to our hotel. By the time we got there the club next door was clearing out so the parking lot was filled with half-drunk gangster looking people and we almost stayed at a different hotel! After considering the fact that we would have to drive around L.A. looking for a hotel we decided we were exhausted and would just stay where we originally planned. It was a very nice hotel and because they couldn't locate our reservation we got free breakfast for the next 2 mornings which was great! Sunday morning we woke up and went to the Farmer's market in Santa Monica. I was so excited to be there I started to get teary eyed and then when I saw how much fun our kids would have being there I really started to cry. After a moment I composed myself and just took in how awesome it was to be surrounded by organic produce. There was a band playing nice music and people were totally picnicking on the grass. We had brought a cooler so that we could come home with organic treasures. For our lunch that day we decided to get salad greens which came in a plastic bag, some sun dried tomato dressing, an heirloom tomato,strawberries, garlic butter and a loaf of kalamata olive bread all from different vendors. We grabbed a fork and knife from one of the other vendors and we went to the sit on the beach and have our lunch. It was so relaxing to sit with our lunch and enjoy it together. We then went wandering around all the little shops and had dinner at a Mexican restaurant then went back to the hotel. As we were relaxing and watching a show there was an earthquake! The hotel was swaying!!! We ran downstairs and I was totally freaked out. All was fine though and we went back up to our room for a good night sleep and then had breakfast in the morning and then headed home. There were no catastrophes at home and we had a glorious time. It was exactly what we needed!!


This was the Awesome fountain that we got to see in action after the performance. We were very impressed!!!

BBQ

We had a BBQ with my friends that I have known forever. Since I am terrible at posting pictures my friend Chrissy has posted some on her blog so please go visit here to see the pics. They are sure cute and one day eventually I will post some on my blog. I hope to get caught up with blogging ove the summer but it probably won't happen.